Quotes By Author
Quotations By Mark Twain
Age
There has never been an intelligent person of the age of sixty who would consent to live his life over again. His or anyone else's.
Age
The tragedy of old age is not that one is old, but that one is young.
Animals
Man is the only man that blushes. Or needs to.
Animals
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit on a hot stove lid again and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.
Animals
If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat.
Animals
The man who sets out to carry a cat by its tail learns something that will always be useful and which never will grow dim or doubtful.
Baby
A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother.
Beliefs
Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.
Beliefs
We all live in the protection of certain cowardices which we call our principles.
Books
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.
Conformity
A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.
Conformity
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
Conscience
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
Courage
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.
Cowardice
There are several good protections against temptations, but the surest is cowardice.
Diplomacy
The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy - give one and take ten
Diplomacy
There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one: keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.
Education
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
Education
Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
Emotion
It is easier to manufacture seven facts out of whole cloth than one emotion.
Ethics
Always do right--this will gratify some and astonish the rest
Evolution
While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.
Experience
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it—and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again—and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.
Father
Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
Friendship
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money. -- Mark Twain
Government
The kingly office is entitled to no respect. It was originally procured by the highwayman's methods; it remains a perpetuated crime, can never be anything but the symbol of a crime. It is no more entitled to respect than is the flag of a pirate. -- Mark Twain
Happiness
There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.
Honesty
When in doubt tell the truth.
Honor
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.
Legislation
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native criminal class except Congress.
Liberty
We Americans... bear the ark of liberties of the world.
Marriage
Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.
Morals
Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. -- Mark Twain
Nature
Nature knows no indecencies; man invents them.
Plagiarism
What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing, he knew nobody had said it before.
Promise
To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing.
Speech
The educated Southerner has no use for an 'R', except at the beginning of a word.
Success
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then Success is sure.
Success
There is no use in your walking five miles to fish when you can depend on being just as unsuccessful near home.
Taxes
I don't know of a single foreign product that enters this country untaxed, except the answer to prayer.
Temptation
There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.
Truth
Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it.
Wealth
There is an old-time toast which is golden for its beauty. "When you ascend the hill of prosperity may you not meet a friend.
Wealth
Prosperity is the surest breeder of insolence I know. -- Mark Twain
Wealth
In Boston they ask, how much does he know? In New York, how much is he worth? In Philadelphia, who were his parents? -- Mark Twain
Wit
Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.
Work
Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.